Take a look around... terrorism, bank foreclosures, bankruptcies, broken families, divorces, neglected children, death of loved ones, starvation, wars, job loss, bullies, road ragers, queue jumpers, people judging you harshly and not even wanting to understand your motives, people who put you down, people who look down their nose at you because your house isn't as big as theirs or your job isn't as fancy, being ignored at the service desk while the staff make private calls, being ripped off, being robbed, being wrongly accused,... the list is endless and I'm sure you get the picture.
It is not "easy" being happy. But it isn't entirely impossible, either.
When you are running behind schedule and queuing up to buy lunch and someone in front invites their friends to push in, in front of you, thus delaying your turn to be served even further, you may feel anything ranging from merely peeved to outright angry. Whichever emotion you feel, it is a feeling you chose to have, right? It doesn't matter whether your response was justified or not, you personally chose to be peeved or angry.
Your boss calls you into his office to tell you his is so impressed with your efforts that he has decided to give you a pay-rise. You are so pleased with this news you probably smile and feel anything from simple pleasure to outright joy! Again, regardless of whether your response is justified or not, you personally chose to feel pleased or overjoyed, agreed?
Your baby has just stood up and taken his first steps. You are so pleased by this amazing progress, you feel anything from pride to extreme excitement that your little baby is so clever and quite clearly a genius. And whether or not your response is justified, you personally chose to feel proud or extremely excited.
The point is whatever emotion you feel, you choose to feel it. You pick it out of a list of possibilities and say, yep, I think I'll use this one.
The same applies to being happy. Being happy is a choice you make - whether it is justified or not.
This is an extreme example, but let's say you are stuck in traffic and running late for an important job interview... as you crawl forward at snail pace, you realize there has been an accident up ahead and you are not going to make your interview on time.
To make matters worse, you then realize you forgot to bring your mobile phone with you so you can't even ring them to let them know! Now you probably feel stressed, justifiably so, and maybe worried, angry... a whole range of emotions, and happy is probably not one of them.
The emotions you are feeling at this point not only make you feel bad, they are also detrimental to your health and well being. Furthermore, being angry, sad, frustrated and stressed is not going to make the accident disappear and speed the traffic up. It is not going to stop the clock to enable you to get to your interview on time either.
You are going to be late, through no fault of your own, and that's all there is to it. There is NOTHING you can do about it.
So now not only are you going to miss your important job interview and wasting petrol while you crawl along in thick traffic, but you are also damaging your health by feeling stressed, angry, etc. This is not enough for you? You have to make yourself feel bad, too?
How about seeing as there is nothing you can do about it right at that moment, you decide NOT to stress or worry about it because it is not going to help matters or you, and decide instead to relax and maybe even enjoy the slow pace for a while? Turn your radio up and just chill... it's a legitimate option. This isn't going to damage your day more than it already is, but what it will do is improve your health and wellbeing and make you feel better.
Sit in your car and smile. Make up your mind to be happy, focus on happy thoughts, think positively and visualize being offered another interview. Make a mental list of all the wonderful things in life that you have to be happy about... and realize that no matter what is happening in your life right at that moment, things could be worse! Be grateful it wasn't YOU in that accident!
It will take practice... Rome wasn't built in a day. Here are some simple and quick tips to help you keep things in perspective and make it easier to choose to be happy, regardless of what life throws at you:
1. Choose to be happy. If something rotten happens to you, decide you are not going to let it totally ruin your life by making you miserable, so you go ahead and have the last laugh by being happy. This is particularly good advice if other people are making your life miserable. The best way to get back at them is to be happy - nothing annoys them more!
2. Life can be complicated and we can become spoiled and take things for granted. Learn to find the pleasure in the simple things in life.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Pretend your friend comes to you and he is in your situation - view yourself form this perspective - would you take him so seriously? We usually treat our friends much better than we treat ourselves. Lighten up! Polish off your sense of humour and use it.
4. Understand and accept that "stuff" will happen to you. Don't think "Oh, that won't happen to me - that happens to other people." To other people, you ARE other people! Of course it can happen to you... but don't dwell on it. Life is all about ups and downs. It goes in cycles. If you are in a "down" cycle at the moment, what have you got to be happy about? Well, when you are down there is only one way out - and that is up! It will happen, smile and get ready for it!
5. Don't "settle". Make the most of your situation and circumstances. You want "better"? Make the effort to get it. Nobody has "everything". Think of the rich guy with the horrible family and no friends and who is dying of cancer - but he lives in a mansion with a pool, servants, several posh cars, spoiled beautiful children who he can afford to send to the best colleges.
If he's miserable and dying, fat lot of good his money is doing him! And then think of the poor guy whose wife has to work too, to make ends meet.
They live in a small house, have one run-down old car, their kids go to government schools, they struggle each week to live within their means, BUT their house is full of love, warmth, laughter and happiness. They have supportive family and many friends and they live rich, fulfilled lives.
6. You can't please all the people all the time - and neither should you have to. Ever noticed how, with some people, it doesn't matter what you do, there is no pleasing them? Accept that and let it go. It is not your fault or your problem if someone on the planet is not pleased by you - that's their hang up, let them live with it. You're too busy being happy, right? Ignore their criticism (unless it is truly justified and of a nature that it really would benefit you to take note!)
7. I like this joke: Don't try and keep up with the Joneses; bring them down to your level - it's cheaper. Well, I wouldn't suggest that - I'll just say you live your life and let others live theirs - don't allow other people's judgements to hurt or affect you. Don't let other people set your standards. After all, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want you setting their standards for them and trying to hold them to it, right?
8. Make time to do things in your life that YOU enjoy. Don't let it be just about work and housework and homework. It sounds corny but you really must learn to stop and smell the roses. Just try it... then you'll know how good it feels and you'll know why people keep telling you to do this all the time! It's great!
9. Live within your means. Budget so you can cover the necessities and allow for some little luxuries. Whatever you do, do not build up debt. Pay off and get rid of your credit cards. Evil things! Destroyed many a happy home! Being in debt is a surefire happy-killer!
10. Keep it real. Don't let an overactive imagination bring you down. Are you sure the neighbours are whispering about you behind your back? Do you really care what they think? At the end of the day, does it matter what they think? Sometimes we imagine things to be much worse than they actually are, so we waste precious time brooding and worrying about stuff... which brings me to the next point...
11. Don't waste precious time brooding and worrying about "stuff". I know for some that is easier said than done, but again, how we feel is a choice we make. Choose to be happy anyway - whether that is justified or not. Learn to "let go" and move on. Don't live in the past - there is absolutely no way you can go back and change it, so stop trying to live there, making yourself miserable.
12. Avoid "if only" thinking. "I'd be happy if only..." NO! You be happy right now, mister, (or miss), and leave the if only's out of it! You are short-changing yourself and sabotaging any chance of happiness if you fall victim to the "if only"...
13. Avoid toxic people. Avoid negative people who bring you down, put you down, make you unhappy or stressed, or make you feel inferior in any way. You don't need them in your life! Nobody does. They only hang around and annoy you because you let them! And for those you can't avoid, well, do your best to ignore them, tune out, walk away...
14. Dig a hole and dump your jealousies and envies in it. Don't compare yourself to others - the world is full of people who are better off and worse off than you - you'll go crazy if you plan to compare yourself with all of them just to decide how you feel about yourself! You're okay as you are right now and if where you are right now doesn't make you jump up and down with glee, do something about it - with a smile!
15. Be thankful for what you have... remember the man who felt sorry for himself because he had no shoes, until he met the man who had no feet. You got no fancy shoes? Be grateful you've got feet!
16. Helping others is a surefire way to boost your happiness levels. Whenever we do something for somebody less fortunate than ourselves, we always feel good about it and good about ourselves.
17. Don't be sad because something good is over - smile and be happy because it happened. This is some of that looking at your glass as being half full, as opposed to half empty!
18. Choose to be happy "now" - today, not tomorrow. You can only live in the now, today, and so that is where you need to choose to be happy.. today, right now. You know what they say...
"Today is a Gift... and that's why it's called The Present".
And who doesn't like presents? Give yourself the gift of happiness today. Whatever bad, sad thing in life is holding you down, find something worth smiling about and just do it!
Donna Eliassen is a Virtual Assistant and writer (an ex corporate PA with 25+ years experience) who works out of her home office in Western Australia. She is always surrounded by pets of some kind, a husband and a beautiful and talented daughter. You can find out more about her at [http://a1VikingVirtualServices.com]
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Donna_Eliassen
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